We have seen so many relationship advise
columns. We have been served so many ways
of recognizing and measuring love.
“he opens car doors for you” “he’s a gentle
man around you” “he will want to marry” “he
will buy you gifts” “he will not want to hurt
your feelings” “he calls you 5 times a day” ”
he texts you” bla bla bla.
See, any player or good guy can treat you
right. If you are pretty, rich, intelligent, most
guys will treat you right. No big deal really.
Most men will treat you right until they have
gotten what they want from you whether it is
sex, one-night stand, side dish, contact, or
marriage. In fact, many men show their true
colours after marriage. That is why I keep
saying this Getting married is a destination,
preserving your marriage is a whole new
never ending journey entirely! Everything
does not automatically become perfect
because of that metal on your finger or that
piece of paper you signed. In fact, it is only an
admission letter into the marriage institution.
Whether you pass or fail in that school is a
different thing entirely.
These are what I have been able to gather
about the love-o-meter of most men.
1. A Man Madly In love Will Marry You ASAP:
Now this is a tricky one. Like I mentioned in
my last thread, men these days do not
necessarily marry because of love. Many
marry because they need a wife/help meet for
whatever reasons. However when a man
really loves you, he marries you because he
loves you and not because he needs a wife.
The remaining points will help you know if
you are going to be a “wife in need” or
2. People Will Tell You He Loves You: When a
man is crazy about you, your friends, family
members, colleagues, associates, and all who
have seen you guys together will tell you.
Those who have known him long before you
came into his life will ask you “what have you
done to him? shocked” There will be a
noticeable change in him that will surprise
people. If he as a good guy before you came
along, he will be even better with you. If he
was a bad guy, he will suddenly melt like
butter when he’s with you. There has to be a
special factor. Something unusual. Something
that will make people marvel.
3. Your Intuition Will Affirm This: Females
have powerful intuitions. Always listen to
yours. It is hardly ever wrong. If you asked
most woman in bad marriages, they’d admit
that they always knew something was terribly
wrong but naively thought it will get better.
You cannot change a man or even make him
love you. You can only awaken/re-awaken the
feelings already in him.
4. The Fear Of Loosing You Becomes The
Beginning Of Wisdom: He can’t stand the
thought of you walking out of his life, he’s
sure not going to turn into a vegetable but
sister, he’s going to do what he can and avoid
whatever he must to make sure you stay even
if he has to give up his priced bachelorhood.
5. He Will Spend On You…… With Pleasure: A
guy will be happy to spend his hard earned
cash on you whether or not he gets to sleep
with you or even date you. It may not start
immediately but after a while especially if
he’s trying to see if you are materialistic. Give
your man sometime while you prove that you
are worth his money.
6. If He Was A Player, He Protects You From
His Bad Friends/Crazy Exes, etc.: Normally if
you are dating a player or typical bad boy
ladies man, his friends will make passes at
you, even disrespect you, etc. Other girls will
want to fight you, etc. But he will be your
knight. He will spell it out to his friends that.
“Nna mehn, I am feeling this babe. Dis na my
babe.” he will mark you and his friends will
understand that perfectly. Other girls will feel
intimidated by your presence and will not
even dare speak to you not to talk of
7. It’s No Longer Sex, It Becomes Love making:
He plays you like a Spanish guitar, that’s
because he wants to leave his mark on you,
he wants you to enjoy it as much as he does.
He wants you to feel him. It becomes like an
art and not like a romp. A man that loves you
doesn’t withdraw immediately after climaxing
and doesn’t jump off the bed after the show.
He stays a little longer holding you unless if
he’s in a hurry to go somewhere important.
8. He Refers To You And Treats You Like His
Better Half: Yes. A man who truly loves you
will get even better after marriage. He will
give you more than he gives himself, etc. You
are his madam in all ramifications even while
he protects you with the last drop of his
9. He Doesn’t Make It A Habit To Take Things
From You: That’s because he didn’t marry you
because of daddy’s wealth or your six-figure
salary. He will want to give more than he
10. He Respects Your Opinions: He may not
always go by them, but he will respect them.
It’s left to you to be able to know how to
make him actually act on them. Know how to
pull his strings.
11. He Doesn’t Freak Out Or Make Your Life
Miserable When The Children Haven’t Started
Coming In: There might be occasional
awkward moments here and there, but he’s
not going to start giving ultimatums, or
threats, or cut down on your weekly/monthly
money because you haven’t given him a child
yet. He will protect you from outside ridicule/
12. He Doesn’t Put Pressure On You To Get/
Retain A Job: That’s because he didn’t get
married because he needed a financial
partner. He married you because he loves you
so he’s not going to treat or see you as a
liability if you are not yet working.
Disclaimer: Love is not a bed of roses. Don’t
always expect him to be a gentleman. Why
should he always open car doors for you? Are
you a learner? Even Prince Philips doesn’t
open doors for Queen Elizabeth all the time
when they are not in public! If he’s a busy
man, a top govt official, company senior
official, successful businessman, etc. he
cannot be calling you everyday. Even if he is a
low income earner. BUT he will always make
up in ways that will make it all worthwhile.
He cannot always call you “honey” “baby” etc.
Some days he will call your full name sef
“Oluwayemisi come here!” ” Chimbusonma I
want to eat” “Nkechiyere don’t waste my
time” There will be tough times as well. Times
when you will even cry and wonder what you
are doing with him, but these points should
console you and assure you that you are on
the right track.
written by sweetlemon