Yes, you, I am calling you out!
Falling in love can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling gifts we can give ourselves. To get to the destination there are a lot of pitfalls we must avoid along the way. Some of us have got very good at avoiding. We cover it up with a layer of “I have it all together, see?”
See if any of these scenarios are your cover up?
1. Miss Independent.
I love when I meet a woman who tells me she is independent. Independent people are strong, they know what they want and they know how to get it, as beautiful as independence it is, it can also be a hidden curse. Independent people rarely reach out to others and ask for help and support. They tend to fear being dependent, so they walk around in a bubble of “I can survive on my own and I can do it all by myself.”
Unfortunately for others, it makes us feel unwanted or not needed by you independent people. And men, like women want to feel wanted and that they have something to contribute in your life, that they have a purpose when they are with you.
So be careful of your biggest asset, it could be leaving the man you want out in the cold.
2. You Have It All.
Your attractive, you’re following your passion, you have a busy social life, you have great girlfriends, and to others you come across like you have it all. People often come up to you and make comments like you are so successful and stunning but where is that man in your life?
But deep, deep inside you know you’re avoiding your biggest fear, having someone you adore to come home too. You have worked very hard to have the life you built for yourself today.
Maybe you give yourself excuses like “Is it really worth it, maybe I’m not meant to have it all?” Your cover up is “I am busy, I will be fine, maybe it not meant to be” but the real cause of your single status is fear of actually having what you really want—a boyfriend !
What is holding you back, Miss I-Have-It-All?
3. You Have A Pet.
I personally worked with animals for years and have witness countless women hoping to meet that special guy in their life. They will talk about past hurts from childhood, bad relationships with their father, chaotic family life or cheating boyfriends but for one reason or another they will have a stronger bond with their pet than they will with another human being.
Animals offer us so much, they give you
unconditional love , they make us happy, they give us the need to care for another, they are fun and playful, they can take us out of our head and into the moment and as great as all this is you could be avoiding the very thing you really want—
love from another human being.
I ask you to reframe your relationship at home, see the good in men and open your heart to love. An animal can give you an abundance of love but so can a great guy, all you have to do is let him in.
4. I Love My Time Alone.
There is nothing you love more than your time alone, it fills your cup up with an over flow of energy but somewhere during the course of many years it has become your default safe zone, which is no longer fun. Playing, listening and talking alone only keeps you isolated. You cannot meet someone when you spend most of your time in isolation.
Me time is fantastic but don’t let it take over your life and keep out the very thing you really want—
a boyfriend.
5. The Travel Junkie.
The travel junkie has a string of broken relationships, she has high fun romances that seemed from the outside very solid but the thing is all these fun and exciting romances ended on a time limit. When you travel you cannot fully commit because you know you’re always leaving.
Everywhere you go, you make strong bonds and meet great people but nobody is really steady in your life because they can’t be. You’re like a bird, always taking flight. If you want to find love you can. It is better to stay in one place long enough for someone to really get to know you and make sure this is not your avoidance!
What do you repeatedly do that holds you back from having what you want? What is the persona you hide behind? What do you do that holds you back from finding love?

Temi Badmus
Temi Badmus
Temi Badmus is a Food scientist and an Art enthusiast. Her desire is to give a listening ear to people and to give an opportunity for everyone to be heard. Has any one told you that you are special? Yes, you are. You were beautifully designed, you are relevant to this generation and very special to me. Connect with me on LinkedIn

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