Sorry, guys, but the facts are in
—and women win!
By Lorenzo Jensen III
1. Women are smarter than men.
Once women started demanding equal rights,
their IQ scores—which had lagged slightly
behind men’s for decades—not only caught
up with men’s, they surpassed them.
According to IQ expert James Flynn, women
now outscore men on intelligence tests in
Europe, the US, Canada, and New Zealand—
and women scored higher everywhere. “The
complexity of the modern world is making
our brains adapt and raising our IQ,” Flynn
says. “But women’s have risen faster.”
2. Women are more sensual than men.
According to researcher Israel Abramov of
the City University of New York, women have
a much more finely tuned ability to see slight
variations in color than men do—which is
why no straight men know what “mauve” or
“taupe” are, but all women do. Women also
have a superior sense of hearing and can
distinguish between different scents far
better than men can.
3. Women are better at finding
things than men.
Everyone knew that already, but it took
psychology professor Diane Halpern to
establish that women are better at navigating
any given area by using landmarks, which
makes them better at finding the lost keys
and the missing remote control than men
4. Women are cleaner than men.
Again—not exactly news! But a study at San
Diego State University of offices nationwide
concluded that men’s desks contain far more
germs than women’s desks.
5. Women have better immune
systems than men.
Estrogen gives women a better natural
defense system against bacteria and viruses,
according to a study at McGill University.
6. Women tolerate pain better
After all, they have to endure the equivalent
of a bowling boll popping out of their vagina
every time they give birth. But an episode of
the show MythBusters proved that women
can hold their hands in freezing water 19%
longer than those crybaby men.
7. Women have better memory
A study at Aston University in England
concluded that are better than men at
remembering things two minutes, 15
minutes, and 24 hours after learning them. A
Mayo Clinic study said that not only do
women naturally have a better sense of
memory than men, the gap widens with age.
8. Women handle stress better
Researchers at the University of Western
Ontario concluded that women are far better
than men at handling the stress of job
interviews. Female brains also secrete more
oxytocin—AKA the “cuddle hormone”—than
male brains, making women calmer under
fire than men are.
9. Women are better at
multitasking than men.
Multiple studies on multitasking have shown
that women are far superior to men when it
comes to handling multiple jobs at once. This
must be why no man in world history has
been able to simultaneously cook spaghetti,
talk on the phone, and change a diaper.
10. Women are better computer
programmers than men.
This goes against every possible sexist
stereotype, but a study at the University of
Sussex found that girls created much more
highly sophisticated coding systems when
designing 3D games than boys did.
11. Women make better doctors
A Canadian study concluded that female
doctors are much more likely than male
doctors to adhere to physicians’ guidelines
and to prescribe the right drugs for any
12. Women make better leaders
The International Journal of Business
Governance and Ethics published research
concluding that female-led companies are
more successful than ones led by males. A
Pew Research poll found that the public
agrees—women make fairer, more
compassionate, and more trustworthy leaders
than men do.
13. Women are better drivers
Studies show that male drivers are 77% more
likely to die in car accidents than female
drivers. A study of car accidents in New York
City found that over five years, a staggering
80% of crashes where pedestrians were killed
or seriously injured involved male drivers.
This is why women pay lower car-insurance
14. Women make better cops
Authorities in Peru and Russia have begun
switching over to female-dominated police
forces because women’s superior
psychological, communication, and
negotiation skills make them better than men
at handling volatile situations.
15. Women make better
students than men.
A joint study by the University of Georgia
and Columbia University found that female
students are better at acquiring and
retaining knowledge than men. And
Department of Education stats show that men
are more likely than women to drop out of
16. Women are better with
money than men.
A study conducted by Barclays Wealth and
Ledbury Research found that female investors
experience a higher return on their
investment than men do mainly because
testosterone impels men to take unnecessary
risks. A 2005 study by Merrill Lynch said that
women also sell off their bad investments
more quickly than men do.
17. Women live longer than men.
What greater evidence do you need of female
biological superiority than the fact that
women live about five years longer than men
do? The New England Centenary study found
that of all the people in the world who are
older than 100, 85% of them are women. As
the old joke goes, why do men die younger
than women? Because they want to. Who
wants to sit around all day being constantly
reminded that you’re inferior?