Patience is the ability to persevere and maintain composure in situations that necessitate understanding, entail a tolerance for delay, and incite emotional intensity. Patience is often referred to as a virtue or a habit, and practicing patience is an action. Therefore, patience is something that can be developed. Relationships present many circumstances that call for patience, and patience is necessary to having a healthy and functional relationship. You can learn patience by following these instructions.
Focus on your mindset. You may have thoughts, beliefs and ways of thinking that are not conducive to practicing patience. To learn how to be more patient, you should prime your mindset in a way that promotes patience.
Be mindful in situations that challenge your patience. Take note of the emotional, physical and mental responses you are having so you can learn to recognize the ways in which you react to such challenges. Understanding how you react to things that challenge your patience is tantamount to coping with relationship challenges and learning to practice and employ patience.
Eliminate thoughts that center around what you feel “must” or “should” happen. Impatience is often the result of unfulfilled expectations. Remember that life is unpredictable and there are many circumstances that are outside your control. For example, replace thoughts like, “my husband must put the toilet seat down” with thoughts more like, “it would be nice if my husband put the toilet seat down” in order to take the immediacy off the issue and downgrade it to something more manageable and less testing of patience.
Practice self-talk. When relationship issues that test your patience arise, mentally recite affirmations that you can and will be patient. For example, if you feel that you are getting impatient during a discussion with your spouse, you may say to yourself, “I am capable of practicing patience, and I will calm down and listen.”
Check your ego. Determine how much of your impatience is due to your desire to be right or to have things go according to your plan. To develop patience, you must acknowledge that a relationship involves 2 people, and that your perspective is only part of the equation.
Encourage open communication. Commit to practicing patience even in the face of things you may not agree with or may not want to hear. Relationships require open and honest communication, and the more comfortable both of you are with sharing thoughts and feelings, the less likely it is that you will display passive-aggressive behaviors that challenge patience
Take note of your relationship dynamic. You will notice that each of you have certain strengths and weaknesses, and that you must work together to make the relationship work. It is possible to learn patience by focusing on your cooperative efforts and being mindful of how you each contribute to the success of the relationship
Spend time in personal reflection. You cannot have a relationship alone, but you can only develop patience through your own effort. Designate some private time for thinking about how you may practice patience in your relationship.