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while I was growing up, I had lots of friends. So really I can say I have had many friends and at every stage of my life my parent showed me different attitude I never knew they had, some times it is some overwhelming love that I wish will never end and other times it’s some corrective measures that makes me think how can someone really want their kids to so this and at this stage of my life I have come to learn that they gave me chances in everything I felt like doing and of course they supported me even when they feel I would have done better. I have watched lots of my friends become sadist, unhappy, hurting other people in fact I have had friends who I wish could live with my parents so that they can really know what it takes to be a good kid raised by principled and intelligent parents. I have also had friends who I also wish one way or the other that their parents were mine, that was because my parents ain’t hundred percent perfect too.
I will be discussing five reasons while most African kids end up brutal adults who do not love peace but trouble

1. Straight conversation.

In Africa, when our parent wants to have a discussion with us, most of them make it straight. All you do as a child is listen. They have trained us to believe we have no mind of our own. A conversation between the western parent involves both the parent and their kids while in Africa, our parent do the talking while we listen. This form of parent to children conversation has deteriorated lots of kids, teenager and has made us grown into adults who wants to be heard at any point without considering who is hurt or not.

2. Disclosure of unnecessary rules and laws.

While we were growing up, there were lots of rules and laws laid down for us and because of those laws most of us went to adventure, we want to know what would happen if those laws were broken by us. As time went by we realised the worst that would happen is either our parent hitting us or starving us, for some other people whose parent will not hit them they have a particular punishment you know you are in for once you break any of the rules. We would have had to grow and face the world with a cold heart right from when we were young and this constituted to one of the reasons most of Nigerian kids ends up brutal adults.

3. Inability to choose our profession.

African parent will start deciding who they want you to be right from when you are able to talk, write and listen. Some of them even go as far as making it compulsory from where you are given birth to. While I was growing up I preferably would love to be art student but it got to a point I had to consider what my parent wanted not because I really loved science then but I was good for science what I loved was art but I had to kindle the love for science in me. A lot of kids has gone out of their life due to this mistake African parent make and a lot of them are still making this. This constitutes to why we have Brutal doctors, lecturers, etc who all they think is making everything about them.

4. Inability to express our anger.

You know the feeling one has when you are angry at something and you can actually pass the anger on that thing. You know your anger can be retaliated in love or in anger. African children do not have the right to do that. If you are angry, you can’t say mum I’m mad at you. You dare not say it. All this constitute to the reasons While we have so many bitter and brutal lectures, bankers, lawyers and drivers out there. Almost all of us believe if you are angry, you should keep it to your self. You don’t have to pass aggression on me but at times you really do need to pass the aggression on someone in order to feel better, but trust you dare not try pass it on our African parents.

5. Right to choose our friends.

Most African parent feels it’s not part of our rights as growing up human to choose the category of people we want around us. Trust me, that is one the greatest mistake a lot of parent makes. They force you to walk with some certain set of people and you do because you just want to obey them at that particular period in time, but after then you decided to find your level off to the kind of friends you want. Our parent’s duty isn’t to choose friends for us, their duty is to train us to be able to be around any friend without being badly influenced.

Written by
Temi Badmus

Temi Badmus
Temi Badmus
Temi Badmus is a Food scientist and an Art enthusiast. Her desire is to give a listening ear to people and to give an opportunity for everyone to be heard. Has any one told you that you are special? Yes, you are. You were beautifully designed, you are relevant to this generation and very special to me. Connect with me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/temi-badmus-a7171bb1


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